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Signs – Blog #10
I am not a person who likes bugs of any type. I would much rather see a snake than a spider. I remember one time Neal teasing me saying I pushed Ryan over trying to get away from a bee. Well, he did exaggerate some. I didn’t push Ryan over, but I did run away…
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Getting Help – Blog #9
As time passed, it became harder and harder to seek outside help. I knew the grief wasn’t going to go away, but I thought it would become easier. “No one ever told me grief felt so like fear.” -C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed. Talking about my loss made me worry that people were judging me,…
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Cancer & Religion – Blog #7
“You can be a victim of cancer, or a survivor of cancer. It’s a mindset.” – DAVE PELZER I was born in December 1969, right before Christmas. I was the fifth of six kids that my mother had. She had three children with her first marriage and three with my father. The oldest and youngest…
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Honoring Neal on His Birthday!
Today is Neal’s birthday. I want to honor him today and tell a little of our story. When a marriage or relationship ends, people say you need to take time, get over it, and move on. Find the next love of your life. Go down that broken path, and forget the past. A spouse dying…
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Why Blog? Why Now? – Blog #6
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary..” – Fred Rogers I want to start by telling you all how wonderful it feels to write these blogs! I have had people reach out…
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The Shattered Club – Blog #5
Nobody wants to be in the grieving parents club! As a parent, losing your child is the most dreaded nightmare of all. My kids were raised in a very small community. There were less than 500 students K-12 at the time they attended school. The families were tight knit, as most of the kids knew…
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Grieving Publicly – Blog #4
Society puts a timeline on grief. Most organizations that give bereavement leave to employees offer 3 to 5 days per year. That usually doesn’t include pay. Of course, most employers will allow more time, but that means when you come back, you had better be “over” the grief. You can’t be stuck in grief. You…
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My Husband’s Suicide – Blog #3
My Husband’s Suicide Neal was the funniest person I knew. That is how he captured my heart. He made me laugh everyday, usually at myself! He was so brilliant. You never wanted to play trivia pursuit with him… somehow he always knew the answers! Actually, you could not play any game with him without him…
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The Accident – Blog #2
My son, Ryan, died 7/7/2013 at age 24 after being accidentally shot while at his girlfriend’s family reunion in the Fort Worth area. This is the story of the accident… Growing up in Wyoming, Ryan loved hunting and target shooting! He collected guns and was teaching his new girlfriend to target shoot. They had only…
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Losing My Son – Blog #1
My son died July 7th, 2013, he was 24. Grief is scary for me and I always have felt judged while grieving, like I have a mental illness that is somehow contagious. It has taken me awhile to learn that grief is not synonymous with depression. Losing a loved one does not cause illness, it…
Opening Up After Life's Traumatic Experiences
Life after childhood cancer, abuse, family addictions, death of my son, suicide of my husband, and more.