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Saying Goodbye to Dad – Blog #27
I always knew the day would come when I would have to say goodbye to my dad. No matter how much I tried to prepare for this loss, it still hurts so bad. He was my daddy and I love him so very much. I always have. The last 10 years of his life he…
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Good Enough – Blog #26
“The most important day is the day you decide you’re good enough for you. It’s the day you set yourself free.” – Brittany Josephina How does it feel to believe you’re good enough? I struggle believing that I am not good enough. My insecurities aren’t about whether I am liked or not, it is about…
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Reprocessing Trauma – Blog #25
“Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love…
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A New Normal – Blog #24
“Survival mode is our new normal.” – Emily Graham, a bereaved parent. Living with the loss of my son has been a rollercoaster of lessons. The only defining truth that won’t ever change is that I will always be a grieving mother. After losing Ryan, I was told I would have to find my new…
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Finding My Sunshine – Blog #23
“Our greatest battles are that with our own minds.” – Jameson Fran The first time I really consciously thought about trying to change my mindset was when I decided to have my foot surgeries. Instead of focusing on the pain, I changed my words and thoughts to “this is what it feels like to heal.”…
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Unbreakable Bonds – Blog #22
I am always fascinated at the timeless bond that is made in the four short years of high school. Four years is such a short amount of time when you look at a lifetime. Even though we only see eachother every once in a blue moon, and talk or message each other a couple times…
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Improving Quality of Life – Blog #21
“A range of studies reveal the powerful effects grief can have on the body. Grief increases inflammation, which can worsen health problems you already have and cause new ones. It batters the immune system, leaving you depleted and vulnerable to infection. The heartbreak of grief can increase blood pressure and the risk of blood clots.…
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Remembering Ryan Blog #14
“Just as you knew you loved him and could remember him on demand before he died, the same will be true now and into the rest of your life.” – Karen Nicola I fear losing memories… especially of Ryan. It is said that after people die, it is their voice that people usually forget first.…
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Visiting Texas – Blog #13
I met Jason at a restaurant in Dallas. Jason was the one that was holding the gun when it went off and shot Ryan. My mother went with me. I was so nervous to meet him. I could tell he was scared when I saw him. We hugged and he said he was sorry. I…
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Losing My Sister- Blog #11
May Day 2010, I stood beside my oldest sister holding her left hand. I knew God was taking her, but I also knew she didn’t want to let go. My mother was on the other side of her. I whispered into her ear that I loved her and it was okay to go. I felt…
Opening Up After Life's Traumatic Experiences
Life after childhood cancer, abuse, family addictions, death of my son, suicide of my husband, and more.