Life after childhood cancer, abuse, family addictions, death of my son, suicide of my husband, and more.
My heart has been shattered, but I am not!
This is a blog of my life. My journey through so many traumatic experiences. To name a few; childhood cancer, abuse, family addictions, the death of my oldest son, and my husband’s suicide. I have spent my life trying to understand why I have been given these challenges, wondering if somehow, I had deserved them, and ultimately trying to hide the emotions they have produced.
My oldest son died in an accident nearly 10 years ago and I am ready to face the pain I feel with my grief. I know that my love for him is only fully present when I remember him. Remembering him, even though I have great, wonderful, loving memories, also brings me great sadness that I will never be able to have him back.
I did not ask for any of these challenges I have faced, but because of them, I have earned the right to feel emotions. There is no cure for my grief, there is only truth. By sharing my experiences, I am finding strength. The grief no longer has power to haunt me because I am willing to face it wholly. My heart has been shattered, but I am not! I am sharing my journey in this blog; the things I have learned and the lessons I am still learning. Jo >;<
Some days I get asked if I’m having a bad day. For some reason that question will trigger the worst of days. My initial thought is “Do I look like I’m having a bad day?” Then my thoughts will turn to “Do you really think any day could be considered a ‘good’ day?” And then…
What is my purpose in this world? Could everyone have a specific purpose? Walking in public, I look around at people, it’s tough to believe that every single person on this earth is here for a reason. But I suppose… each person has their lineage, their devotion to what is important to them, and with…
This month is the toughest month! I hate that it brings another year to my grief, never giving respite to my relentless pain. The monster called grief that I somehow have tamed to just show itself when I choose, comes out of hiding as we enter July. This monster doesn’t just hide here or there,…
